Frank "Grimey" Grimes

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what's really important to me and makes me happy in my life (and we all know that life is short; you never know how much time you'll have here and even if you live a long life, it's never enough time). Yeah...a lot of heavy thinking going on recently. But when I really asked myself what gives me the most joy in my life, the answer was crystal clear: making art. I've been putting so much energy into finding a job that I wouldn't even care about. I don't want to answer phones for the rest of my life. I'm sick of lying at interviews and spouting tripe like, "Oh, I loooooove working with people! And doing menial clerical work is my favorite!" 

I cringe doing public service work and couldn't possibly care less about the success of these companies. What I do care about is making art that makes people feel things and ultimately makes people happy. It brings me joy knowing that the art I'm making is bringing joy to others. And the fact that I haven't made any new drawings in the past year makes me very sad. I have a degree in drawing and I quit drawing only a year out of school because I was in such a big hurry to get a better job, an apartment, a husband...all of those things that society thinks I'm "supposed" to have. But in the long run, would that higher paying job and tiny little apartment bring me happiness? Shouldn't the happiness be coming from inside me and not from outside sources? Finding a partner to share my life with is still something that I want very much but maybe the reason why I haven't found him yet is because I need to find myself first. I need to figure out how to be truly happy on my own before I find someone to share that happiness with. Or maybe I'm just doomed to be alone...I don't know! :p

I talked to a good friend about my conundrum and he offered some really sage-like advice. I told him how I often compare myself to others and by doing so, I often feel like I'm not measuring up to the success of others. He told me we're all on our own paths and never to compare myself to anyone else or "timelines" set by society. He also said that I'll figure out what I want to do with my life simply because I want to and, "You never know what will happen or when, you just need to make sure you are at least allowing those situations to appear." 

So now we're at the point of this story where I've made my decision. I've decided (for now) to go back to my part-time job and spend the rest of my time really concentrating on my art. My old job didn't pay very well but I don't have a lot of bills and am generally a pretty thrifty lady. What's more important to me right now than having a lot of money is TIME. Art takes time to create and if I were to take a 40 hour a week job right now I know for a fact that I wouldn't feel like making anything when I got home. I'd probably still have time to make the occasional embroidery but I know I wouldn't make any fine art. And if people want to judge me for living at home, that's their problem, not mine. At least I have parents who love me and support me. When I told my dad about my plan he said, "That sounds like a great idea! You need to do whatever it is that makes YOU happy, Courtney." 

I know there's no guarantee that my art will be super successful but you can't win if you don't try, right? And if making art makes me happy, then that's a success. But I still believe that I have something special to offer with my artwork and that it has potential to get even better. I just need to practice more and work more on marketing my work. And I'm also going to work on not expecting so much out of life. My expectations of myself have been ridiculously high in the past and that only leads to disappointment. I'm going to work on being more kind and compassionate towards myself. I heard someone say once, "We're all worthy of our own unconditional love" and I think it's about time I really start treating myself the way I treat everyone else. Because I'm worth it ;)

Happy Birthday, Charlie Brown!

 

Today I turned 29 years old and so far it's been WONDERFUL! I have the most loving, supportive, and amazing friends a girl could ever ask for! Let me tell you a little bit about them!

Yesterday afternoon I was stressing as I was getting prepared for my birthday party that evening. I got up early and baked the World's Most Hideous Cake (pictured below) and was running all over the place grabbing last minute things. When I saw my mom she said there was a giant package at the door. My first thought was, "Oh, SHIT! What did I buy? I don't remember buying anything giant!" 

When I opened the door there was indeed a giant package there from my friend Madeline. I lifted it up and it was surprisingly light for such a large package. What could it be? I eagerly opened it up and it was filled with balloons. My first reaction was, "I don't get it!!!" But when I took the balloons out of the box I noticed that each contained a small note. So I popped them one by one and inside was a special message from each of my girlfriends! It was SO AMAZING! I'd never gotten a gift like that and it made my heart burst! I'll admit I got a little emotional reading all of the nice things my friends wrote :)

Later that day Maddie and I drove to Jenika and Ryan's house (they were kind enough to host the party). When we got there Jenika had balloons, snacks, and decorations already set up! It was sooooo sweet! While we waited for everyone to trickle in we drew faces on all of the balloons. The first game we played was Mario Kart; I will even admit that I only got second place this time. My friend Joe had secret Mario Kart talents that I was unaware of. After Mario Kart we played one of my favorite party games, Telestrations. For anyone who isn't familiar with this game, I'll describe it to you. It's a combination of Telephone and Pictionary and it's pretty hilarious. You take a blank sheet of paper and start off by writing down a word or a short phrase (ie: batman eating an ice cream cone). Then you fold the paper away from you and pass it to the person next to you. That person then has to draw whatever you wrote then they fold the paper back so their drawing hides what you wrote. Then they pass it to the person next to them who then has to write what they think the drawing is and so on. By the time you get your original paper back it's transformed into something completely crazy and ridiculous. For example, "Trees" turned into "Broccoli Party" which turned into "Broccoli Overdose" which, sadly, ended with a man overdosing on broccoli. Be warned though, this game induces a scary amount of laughter (my throat still hurts from laughing too much).

My friend Jason had brought his little girl who couldn't stay out too late so after two rounds of Telestrations we had the cake. I was hoping to fool my friends into thinking I baked said cake from scratch. It turns out my friends aren't so easily fooled. Rats! But at least everyone ate some! After cakey I opened my gifties. I wasn't expecting any gifts so I was surprised by all of the lovely things my friends got me. Did I mention already that my friends are the best ever? I got a amigurumi kit (never crocheted before but I guess I'll have to learn), a giant book on sewing (just got my first sewing machine from my mom and pop), a lovely Hobbit journal, a giftcard to Michael's (I drop alotta cash at Michael's), a hand-drawn Spirited Away card, and a gorgeous hand-embroidered pendant from my bestie, Ashley.  

 

After gifts we played "Cards Against Humanity", my other favorite party game. There were about 12 of us by then and that's a pretty big crowd for this game so it was really hard to pick the best answer. I unfortunately got a sucky hand of cards but it was still really fun and everyone laughed their butts off. I'm glad that people had a good time. There's nothing worse than having a boring birthday party so I'm happy that mine was fun for everyone ^___^

This morning I awoke to a letter from my pen pal,  Melissa, who lives in Scotland. Getting letters from her always makes my little heart very happy and it was extra special to receive one on my birthday. Having a pen pal has been such a joy in my life; even though we've never met face to face, I consider Melissa to be one of my closest friends and she's also one of my favorite people in the world. We tell each other everything and it's awesome having someone in your life who you can share anything with. And there's something very special about writing and receiving handwritten letters. Communication in today's culture has become so quick and easy that along the way it loses something. An email (or glob forbid, a text) can never compare to a real letter. If you don't have a pen pal, you should definitely try seeking one out. Places like Okcupid and Facebook are good places to look for a long-distance pen pal.

This afternoon I had lunch with my friend Hannah and her mother at Whole Foods followed by some thrifting at Goodwill. I found an awesome afghan just like the one Bret Mckenzie has on his bed on Flight of the Conchords for $3. I also found a rad green and white polka dot dress and a Gemma Correll pug shirt. Half off days at Goodwill are the best days :) 

When I got home from shopping, I had a package waiting for me by the door. It was from my boy bestie, Nathan. He had said that it was fragile but I had no idea what it could be. When I opened it up I got a little emotional again! GAAAHHHH! He had gotten me the Bilbo Baggin's fairy door I had said I wanted AGES ago. It's so adorable! I love it soooooo much! I'm always amazed by Nathan's gifts because he'll get you something you mentioned that you really really wanted like, a year ago. He's the best!

ALL OF MY FRIENDS ARE JUST TOO GOOD!!

My family is the lovely too. My mumsies and I went to dinner tonight at one of my favorite restaurants but before we left she gave me this gorgeous sapphire ring that I had wanted for about 10 years but was too young for at the time. I still look a little bit too young for it but it's gorgeous (it's designed after a ring Princess Diana had) and I love it! My mom is a sweetheart and I'm really lucky to have such great parents. 

In conclusion, I had a MARVELOUS birthday and am feeling very loved right now. I think this is a perfect start to what will be an awesome year! I'm gonna kill it this last year of my twenties! WHOO!



It is time!

 

Me and Maddie

And so our story continues...

This blog has turned into a suspense thriller in a way...will our heroine ever find a job? Short answer "Yes" with an "If", long answer "No" with a "but".

I recently interviewed with a company (who will remain nameless) for another receptionist job. I wasn't too jazzed about the job from the start but at this point beggars can't be choosers. I was not impressed by the place at all from my first interview but after my first one they said I might be able to do the second interview that same day. The HR lady told me to wait in the lobby and that she'd come and get me in "just a few minutes". Just a few minutes turned into nearly 40 minutes and in those 40 minutes my already sour impression of the establishment dropped even further. When she finally came back she told me that they actually didn't have time to do the second interview and to come back in the morning. Despite having a bad feeling about the place I went to the second interview anyway. When I arrived the next morning I met with a different HR rep who told me that I had scored "extremely" high on the IQ test they had made me take the day before and that they were very impressed with me. At that point I was feeling a lot better about this second interview since I'd never really taken an IQ test before.

Shortly after I was taken to the top floor to do the "real" interview with the woman who would be my boss. She asked me the normal arsenal of questions common in interviews minus one...Usually I've been asked to name just one weakness but this little pistol wanted THREE! I had only one prepared so I got a little flustered but felt like I recovered okay. After she was done asking me questions she went on and on about the job telling me what a great company it was and how this position would be a great starting spot for me blah blah blah. She said she would like to fill the opening in 2 weeks so to expect a call back shortly. On the drive home I was feeling pretty good about how the interview went and confident that I had finally nailed a job.

Today I awoke to not a phone call but an email telling me that this woman (she didn't even have the decency to email herself) had chosen not to offer me the position "at this time". What does that even mean? She might offer me it later? Such bullshit. And it's not like they decided to go with another candidate because I saw that they renewed the job posting today. So all day I've been in a rotten mood and trying to figure out what I could have possibly said to blow the interview :(

The worst part is that I wasn't even super stoked about this job either. I'm super sensitive to rejection so any form of rejection is always a major blow. I just can't understand what she didn't like about me and it's been bugging me all day. All of my friends have been really great and supportive through this whole job hunting ordeal and have been telling me that the right job just hasn't come along yet. I sure hope they're right because this has been such a nightmare, a nightmare that I'm ready to end. 

As much as I'm ready to go back to work though, it would probably be worse if I got a job and it sucked. I've had my fair share of sucky jobs so I think I can hold out a little bit longer for a decent one to present itself. It would've been nice to have found one before my birthday though...

Speaking of birthdays (nice segway, huh?) my birthday party is this Friday and I'm hoping to be in a better mood by then. I just have to remember that "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."

P.S. I saw a wonderful movie last night. It's Studio Ghibli's newest feature, "From Up on Poppy Hill", and it was beautiful. If you get a chance to see it I highly recommend it!

Phoenix in Phoenix

Last night I saw one of my favorite bands, Phoenix, at the Marquee Theater in Tempe. I must say it was a spectacular show, in fact, one of the best shows I've been to in recent memory. I was worried that they were going to play mostly songs from their new album "Bankruptcy", which is being released soon, but surprisingly, they played songs mostly from their last album "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix". I was hoping they would play my favorite song "Too Young" but sadly, it wasn't included in their set. No matter, I had a great time singing along and jumping around to killer tunes. It made me reminiscent of my younger days bouncing in my seat to Blink 182 and Weezer at America West Arena (now US Airways Arena). Those were some good times. Anywho, Phoenix's vocalist, Thomas Mars, was a fantastic performer. He jumped into the crowd several times and I was overwhelmed with the desire to touch him! It was so weird! I'm normally pretty weird about human contact but having one of my favorite musicians so close to me turned me into a creeper. Unfortunately, my creeper fantasies were thwarted by about 2 inches (I couldn't reach him) but my friend got to. Better one of us did than none of us, I suppose.  Here's some photos from the show:

Photo courtesy of Sharleen Chen

Photo courtesy of Sharleen Chen

 Since I don't have that much disposable income at the moment I'm unable to go to very many concerts so this concert was an extra special treat. When I do have money again I'd like to see these bands/artists in concert (if they ever visit Arizona):

*Foster the People
*Florence + the Machine
*Two Door Cinema Club
*Metric
*The Black Keys
*Ellie Goulding
*Vampire Weekend

Moving on from the music topic, I had a job interview today that turned out not to be for the job I thought I was applying for. I applied for an office assistant position at a preschool and even noted that that was the position I was applying for THREE times on my application. The person who I was interviewing with managed to go through the entire interview without mentioning once that she was interviewing me for a TEACHING position!! ME!! TEACHING!! I thought it was quite odd that she needed me to take a Tuberculosis test as for a receptionist job but then she started asking me what age range of children I'd like to work with...that's when I had to say, "Wait, I applied for an office assistant job. Is this for a teaching position?" It was. And what's really funny is that she was ready to hire me! The World's Least Child-Friendly woman being a preschool teacher. Good grief!

I have another interview on Thursday for an actual receptionist position which sounds a lot more suited to my skills. I hope it goes well. I'm really really tired of being unemployed (although I'm positive I'll miss being unemployed the day I go back to work). 

I'M IMPOSSIBLE!

P.S. 10 day til my b-day! AAAAAHHHH!

If I ever feel better

Today I am trying to motivate myself to draw. I haven't done a serious drawing in over a year and considering I went to school for drawing...that's pretty bad. However, since it's been that long since I've drawn anything I'm kind of scared to draw again. What if I can't draw anymore? What if I never really could draw in the first place? What if this is all a dream?

I'd like to do a drawing of Bag End so I've been looking at a lot of cover art of the Hobbit. Ideally, I'd like to draw it in a van Gogh-esque style but that might be a little tricky with pastels. All of my acrylic paint dried up years ago (I used to be a painting major) and I don't have the funds to buy new paint so that's out. I do have some watercolors but I've never been very skilled with wet media. Maybe if this pastel drawing comes out okay I'll try it with watercolors. Maybe.

In other news, I went to a party on Friday with all my mates. It was a mustache themed party. There was a game where you had to identify the celebrity just by their mustache and I won. I guess I'm a mustache expert. I'll have to add that to my list of talents. As usual, I was the only one not drinking since I'm the quintessential "wet blanket" at parties. By about 11:30pm everyone was pretty smashed and before I knew it they were all singing at the top of their lungs and dancing to Ke$ha. Being a hipster, I'm not that into "popular" music so I had never heard any of her music. Me and my friend Heather aren't really into dancing so we were both sitting on the couch looking uncomfortable. It wasn't very long before everyone grabbed her and made her dance and I worried that my turn was next. For once my worries were justified because soon enough I was being dragged off the couch and thrown into the center of the dance party. At this point I had no other choice--I had to dance. For the first time in my 29 years on this planet I danced in public and I wasn't that bad at it. It's not like I don't ever dance, in fact, I dance quite often but only in the privacy of my own home. At least I wasn't forced to sing. That I cannot do. It's not that I can't sing, it's just that I won't. So don't ask.

Anywho, tomorrow I'm going to see one of my favorite bands. I haven't been to an actual concert in ages. I've been to plenty of shows but not concerts. I'm usually too cheap but I figured since my birthday was coming up that I'd treat myself to a real concert. It should be fun. 

Now back to the drawing board for me--LITERALLY!

The Birthday Approaches

Yesterday was a fun day. I attended my Harry Potter bookclub (although I've read them loads of times but I'll take any opportunity to talk about Harry Potter). As usual we didn't discuss the assigned reading very in depth. Mostly we just talked about random topics including but not limited to cats, food, shoes, etsy, lion king, crafts, tobogganing, and okcupid. 

Maddie found us a Patronus test since we're currently reading "The Order of the Phoenix" and my patronus was a Snowy Owl. Not too shabby. The best part of the meeting was looking at Harry Potter book cover art from its various translations. Some were pretty wicked but others were just...strange to say the least. Anyway, I must say that I'm very happy to have met all of these lovely ladies. I don't think I've ever had an entire group of female friends. I usually hang out with one or two friends at a time and they usually belong to separate social groups so it's refreshing to have a whole gang who are all friends with each other. I'm also happy that these girls are active and like to go out and do things. I've always been a bit of a homebody and it's gotten a little stagnant over the years so I'm really enjoying going out more and trying new things. 

In other news, I'm currently planning my 29th birthday party. Since this will be my last year of my twenties I've decided to have a "Kid Party" theme. Everyone will dress in kid's clothes and we'll play lots of games. I might even buy an ice cream cake :p

I'm still in the midst of my job search but in between I've been working on inventory for my Etsy store. Here's my most recent embroideries: 

I guess that's all for now but if it's not too much to ask, keep your fingers crossed that Mama finds a good job soon. Thanks, lovelies!

Beware of Traveling Ghosts

On Tuesday I got back from having a lovely holiday with my dear dear Ashley. Lemme tell you about it!

We started our journey on Saturday morning. Ashley's little boy, Ben, had only been to Disneyland as a baby so he had no memory of going to the park so it was supposed to be a surprise for him. Me having a terrible short term memory managed to say "Disneyland" about 10 times on the drive there but luckily, Ben was too consumed with the I-pad to notice. Since Ashley and I don't get to see each other as often as we'd like, there was a lot of chatting going on in the car, so much chatting that we missed our exit to get onto I-8 and had to drive about an hour out of our way. Oops! We stopped for Chipotle in Yuma and I managed to eat most of my burrito without getting carsick! WIN!

We stayed at her mom's boyfriend's house in San Diego and they had a gorgeous view (I saw tons of Anna's Hummingbirds and a Rufous Hummingbird too). That first night we decided to go shopping and got crazy lost. Her mom let us borrow her GPS and it had an Australian accent that was impossible to understand. Ashley got so stressed out trying to find Target. It was kind of hilarious (wouldn't have been if I was the one driving). When we got back home we ate fajitas, watched 10 billion episodes of "The Big Bang Theory" (one of my fave shows) and got to see Jupiter with a bitchin' telescope--yes, it was worthy of the word "bitchin'". The kitty who lived in the house was a sweetheart and we made friends very quickly. His name was Izzy and he had the cutest little fangs :3

The next day we had waffles then went to La Jolla Beach and saw the seals. It was super duper cool! Here's some pics!

The last time I saw seals was at Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when I was a wee lass. The seals at La Jolla looked so happy just soaking up the sun. There were lots of baby seals too that were sooooo cute! Loved it! I did a bit of wading too because I can't get that close to the Pacific without at least putting a toe in but I zoned out for a minute and my pants got all wet. Rats! We had sammiches for lunch then I took a big girl nap. When I woke up Ashley and I decided to make Pina Coladas (I don't normally drink but I was on vacation so I thought what the hey!) We went to this Vietnamese grocery store by her mom's house to get the ingredients that was so cool! They had stuff from all over Asia. We got a kick out of all the bizarre snax they had (ie: cuttle fish chips, pizza-flavored seaweed, milk-flavored Hello Kitty chews). I got some red bean moichi since people are always eating it in the mangas I read but it was too weird for me (Dad liked it). I had two Pina Coladas and they had no effect on me. Hmmm...


The next day we went to Disneyland. The story we had told Ben was that first we were going to the World's Biggest Grocery Store (he hates grocery stores) then to the Natural History Museum (boring!). He totally bought it...he bought it a little too much. When we got to the parking lot of Disneyland we asked him where we were and he said, "The museum!" When we got out of the car we thought all the kids in princess costumes would give it away but he still didn't catch on. We kept waiting for him to realize where we were and freak out but he never did. Even when Ashley bought his park ticket he was totally oblivious. Finally she shoved a map to the park in his face and made him read it. We got to see the lightbulb turn on in his head for about 2 seconds but there was no freak out. Later he got pretty excited but not what we'd been hoping for.

Our first ride was Splash Mountain and at first he liked it but after the big drop he HATED IT. He said, "I don't want to go on that again for the rest of my life!" He's a funny kid, he didn't really want to go on any of the big rides even though he was big enough to. Ashley and I had to go on Space Mountain and the Matterhorn by ourselves. I was sure he was going to like Indiana Jones but he didn't like that either! The only rides he seemed to enjoy were Pirates of the Caribbean, the Haunted Mansion, the Tea Cups, Star Tours, and It's a Small World. Strange...

I made the mistake of asking if he wanted to check out Tarzan's Treehouse, which turned out to kill my knee again. My knee had never fully healed from my Florida trip and going up and down 200 stairs killed it. By about 5pm my knee nearly gave out completely. I had to limp the rest of the day but I still had fun. We got in the front on a lot of rides too. Space Mountain was probably my fave this time since Big Thunder is closed until November. I got a lanyard (finally) for my pin collection and a Donald Duck pin. I also got Ashley and I some mini mouse ears that were so cute! We got so many compliments on them. This trip I actually watched the fireworks show and it was AWESOME! It was narrated by Julie Andrews and they did a different theme for all of the big rides. For example, they projected ghosts onto the castle for the Haunted Mansion and shot off green and purple fireworks while playing audio from the ride. I got so excited when a live actress dressed as Tinkerbell flew all around the castle. At first I thought it was a puppet but then when she did a flip I was like "WHOA! That's a real lady!" It was great! I highly recommend watching the fireworks show in front of Cinderella's Castle. Oh, and one more notable thing, I saw barf for the first time at Disneyland! In the 28 years I've been going to Disneyland I've never seen barf. Mind you, it wasn't technically in the park but it was right outside the gates. Pretty wild! Anyway, here's some pics from our day at the park:

Grumpy Cats

The last day of our trip we drove down to Newport Beach but it was so windy and cold that we only stayed about 5 minutes. We got grilled cheeses for lunch then were back on the rode by 1:30pm. Ashley and I listened to Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone on the drive and now she wants to read the books this summer. YAY!

So in conclusion, I had a great trip and am looking forward to going on more trips with Ashley in the future since we travel so well together. 

Oh, and I have another interview on Monday so wish me luck on that!

Happy Friday!