Birthday Baby

Birthday Princess

Yesterday I turned 31 years old and it was a very good day. It doesn't feel like an entire year has gone by already since my last birthday (which I was lucky enough to spend in Europe with my best friend). Looking back, the year I turned 30 was probably the best year of my life thus far. In one year I visited 6 new countries and had countless adventures. Before this past year I'd never been out of the United States but now I'm a world traveler! I have fallen madly in love with adventure and I think this love affair will last for the rest of my life. There are so many places I want to see and cultures I want to experience firsthand. But for now, I'd like to take some time to reflect on some things that I learned in my 30th year on this planet.

#1.) Love yourself. This is VERY important. For most of my life I've struggled with truly loving myself. I was always my worst critic and put so much pressure on myself to be "perfect" (which I know is totally unrealistic but is pretty common for people who have anxiety disorder). But this past year I decided to really try to love and accept myself the way that I am. I've been trying to see myself how your best friend sees you. When my friends tell me about all their insecurities and things they don't like about themselves I'm always shocked and want to tell them how beautiful and perfect and amazing they are. I don't see these flaws, I just see a person who I love and think is pretty terrific so I've been trying to see myself that way too. It's weird how your entire perception of life changes when you decide to start loving yourself. In the past when I'd look at my reflection all I could see were things I wanted to change. My ears were too big, my skin had too many imperfections, my hair color was too boring, my bust was too small, etc. But now...Now when I look at myself I see princess, a goddess, a celestial being who is just oh-so-CUTE! I wonder how did I ever see anything otherwise? Of course there are days when I feel negative but they're much more infrequent than they once were.




Birthday Dress & Flower Crown

#2.) Surround yourself with positive people and remove any toxic relationships from your life. The truth is that life is very short and you only get to do it once, so if you're not getting what you need from a relationship and that relationship is no longer adding to the enjoyment and quality of your life, it might be time to let it go. Relationships like people, change over time and just because you've been friends with someone for a long time doesn't mean that you're always going to be compatible. This past year I had to remove some negative influences from my life and although it was hard, I think it was ultimately the right decision. These people weren't treating me the way I know I deserved and weren't making me feel good about myself when I was with them. They made me feel like I wasn't good enough and that I needed to change who I was. Since these people have exited my life, I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted from my shoulders. For the first time in my life I'm surrounded by people who I truly love (and who love me) and enjoy being around. These people support me and inspire me everyday. They make me laugh and are also there for me when I'm feeling down. It's important to find friends who are there for you even when life gets complicated. As a person who struggles with depression, I need people in my life who understand that I'm not always going to happy and bubbly. There are days where I'm going to be a bummer but it means so much to know that even when I feel moody or sad that my friends still love me and are there to talk when I need them. They say that misery loves company but I think that the same can be said about positivity. Surrounding yourself with positive people can really help you to become a more positive person. I've noticed that now that I'm hanging out with positive folks that my attitude has changed a lot. I've absorbed their good vibes and positive energy and instead of just complaining about everything like I used to, I'm laughing and dancing and having fun. It's pretty awesome :)

#3.) Collect experiences, not things. Now this is the hardest one and I'll admit I struggle with it daily. Like I said earlier, people are continually growing and changing and as an artist, I like to express those changes externally with the clothes and makeup I wear. But there comes a point where you realize that with only two days off a week, how are you physically going to be able to wear all of this stuff? And I've heard that the average person only wears 11% of their wardrobe anyway so I need to get a hold of myself and stop buying so much clothes. I come from a family of hoarders so it's going to be challenge to stop collecting things and spending my money on junk I don't really need. Ideally, I'd like to start living a more minimalistic lifestyle and spend my money on travel and not stuff. But as I said, it's not going to be an easy task but now that I've started traveling I'm seeing how much happiness I'm getting from those experiences vs acquiring more material possessions.

So yeah, some very heavy life lessons were learned this past year and I'm hoping to continue to develop and grow this year as well and am very much looking forward to all of the adventures to come.