R. Crumb

Since my last post a lot of shit has gone down and as a result a very important life decision was made.

It's funny how something as insignificant as a few crumbs forgotten on a counter top could turn into the catalyst that changes your life. I'll never look at crumbs the same way again.

About a week and a half ago I came home to a very long and very passive-aggressive note addressing all of my foibles. It was brought to my attention that I number one, (yes, this note included bullet points) leave a trail of crumbs everywhere I go and fail to clean them up in the appropriate amount of time. Number two, I get tiny splotches of spaghetti sauce on other people's tea kettles and fail to read their minds when they put said tea kettle on "my part of the sink" to communicate to me that it needs to be cleaned. Number three, I own too many pairs of shoes and hog the shoe rack (when there is ample empty space on said shoe rack even with my plethora of shoes). Number four, I feed hungry cats who do not belong to me as not to wake their sleepy owners and change their water dish when it is empty or filled with mud. What a terrible human being I am! I'm so grateful that all of these faults have been brought to my attention! And in such a polite and courteous manner to boot! 

Christ Almighty.

After reading this lovely piece of wisdom I decided it was time to leave this bat-shit crazy house. I immediately set to work looking for a new place of residence. But to my displeasure, all of the available rooms in the area were just as unaffordable as my current sublet. Regardless, I went to look at another room in Redmond. The ad promised a large room in a large, luxurious home. All utilities would be included with the $500 for rent with the addition of free maid service. Wowee! I woke early in the morning, bathed, groomed and optimistically made the short drive to what might be my future home. I walked up the driveway not knowing what a treat I was in for. The carpets looked as if they hadn't been cleaned or vacuumed in 20 years. This "large" house turned out to be very small and was covered in old plates, food, and beer bottles. Could it get any worse? Of course it could, silly goose! The landlord escorted me to the open room and asked me to forgive the "mess" and informed me that the maid would be in soon to tidy up. Maid? WHAT MAID?! The room was small and dank and looked like some poor beast had come to its unfortunate demise in there. The carpet had horrible brown stains all over it and was caked in mud and clods of dirt. And all of this for the low price of only $500 a month! I spent a grand total of 45 seconds in this house before I quickly turned tail.

Since I had planned on this interview to take more than one minute I had about 40 minutes before I had to be at work. A lot of thinking and soul searching was done in that 40 minutes. I saw a glimpse of my future, moving from room to room to room like a gypsy leaving a line of asshole roommates in my wake all while my savings continued to diminish. 

I went into work with a heavy heart. Where would I go? What would I do? I had 4 weeks to figure it out. The stress was making me nauseous and I was filled with despair. On my lunch break I called my dad. I told him I was reaching the end of my rope and was contemplating accepting defeat. Washington had beat me. He told me what I had been thinking since the day I left Arizona, "Come home." He said he could be here by the end of the month and not to worry anymore, that this nightmare would soon be over. 

I accepted this offer.

There comes a time when you have to sacrifice your pride and admit you made a mistake. Seattle was not the place for me. As much as I hate to admit it, Phoenix is my home. It's where I belong. I had everything a person could need in Arizona and it was all right in front of me. I was blind to all that was good in my life. But I think I needed to come here and experience all of this adversity and loneliness so I could be truly grateful for all that I had in the desert. I've learned that in life where you are is less important than who you're with. I need to be with my people to be happy. Emails, texts, and phone calls can't fill your heart the way physically being with the ones you love can. And now I know that first hand. It took two moves to learn this very important lesson. 

But don't get me wrong, this is not an anti-Seattle post. Seattle was great and I met some wonderful individuals here. It's a beautiful and exciting city and I'll remember it fondly. It just isn't home. And it's time for Mama to get back, get back to where she once belonged.

So Arizona, get ready to see your little adventurer again! The Old Man and I will be setting off at the end of this month. It'll be nice to be home for the holidays and bring in the New Year with all my friends. I've missed you all more than you could ever know and you all mean the world to me. You guys ARE my world. 

See you in December!

XOXO!

Your friend,
Courtney

P.S. Here's some pics of my Halloween costume as Bellatrix Lestrange in case you haven't seen them yet!