There and Back Again: Courtney's Tale

To be honest, I've been super intimidated to update this blog since returning home from my adventure since there's just so much to tell and I don't want to leave anything out. Seventeen days is quite a long time so I've decided to write about my travels in Europe in segments just to make things easier on myself (and on you). So let's start from the beginning!

The evening of April 7th I began my journey. I'll admit that I got a little emotional upon take off but let's be real here, this trip was a BIG DEAL and naturally there were a lot of feels involved. I had really started talking about visiting Europe when I was 22 years old. My anxiety had become semi-manageable and I had quite a bit of savings so I started giving a European vacation serious consideration. However, the boyfriend at the time had no money and to tell the truth, had no real interest in traveling with me at all. I was pretty upset at the time but after my experience last month I now realize that I went at exactly the right time in my life with exactly the right person. It was all meant to be.

I'm not going to lie, the flight sucked. Don't get me wrong, British Airways did their very best to make all of us comfortable but being trapped in a plane for nearly 10 hours is never fun. I still get nervous flying so I didn't eat a whole lot before departing so around 9pm I was pure starving. I started daydreaming about macaroni and cheese but then I noticed that I smelled something that kind of smelt like macaroni and cheese (very weird). I guess I was naïve but I honestly thought that all I was going to get was juice and a cookie on this flight. Boy, was I WRONG! The flight attendant asked me if I preferred the curry chicken or pasta bake. I asked her if the pasta was vegetarian and she said she didn't know. I took a peek at it but it was hard to tell so I told her I didn't want to risk it. A few minutes later she came back and plopped the tray in front of me and said, "You better taste it just in case. I don't want you to starve." Pure angel! The pasta did in fact turn out to be vegetarian but it also came with bread and butter, a side salad, tea, water, and coffee cake! My tummy was very happy! After my feast I tried to get some sleep but I don't think I was very successful. I drifted in and out of consciousness but I don't think I got any actual sleep. Yadda yadda yadda ten hours went by and I see London out of my window and got a dash emotional again. My layover in London wasn't too bad; I filled the time with people watching. I finally arrived in Glasgow at 5:20pm the NEXT DAY! Spoopy!

As I walked through the airport the excitement started to build. I was finally going to get to see my dearest, Melissa in 3D. I navigated myself through the crowd and then I saw her! It was again, very emotional! She was just so cute and we both were so excited. It was a Hallmark moment for sure. My first impression of Scotland was that it was SO COLD! I was not prepared for it to be so cold--yikes! We took the bus back to her flat and I got to meet her sweet mum and her adorable kitty, Shadow. We had Dominoes pizza for dinner which was funny for me since I wasn't expecting there to be Dominoes in Glasgow. I slept for a few hours but woke up at 1am wide awake. During that time I made friends with Shadow, the Creature of the Night.

The next day started off good. We took the subway into town and Melissa showed me her turf. We went into a super cute shop called Primark and she bought me an adorable blue dress with a black peter pan collar for my birthday. However, while in Primark I started to feel a bit...weird. My stomach started doing funny stuff and once that happens my anxiety will slowly start to kick in. We stopped at Hill Head Bookclub for lunch (even though I wasn't hungry) and I ordered a veggie sandwich thinking that would be the safest thing for someone who's feeling sick to order. BAD IDEA. Making myself eat made everything so much worse and I had to visit the bathroom more times than I'd care to admit. It took all of my strength not to vomit everywhere. After lunch we were walking to the subway when I had to tell the truth that I was feeling super nauseated and having a bit of a panic attack. A weird thing about Europe is that there are very few trash bins on the street. For someone about to hurl, this is not the best news. The thought of barfing right onto the street or on the subway was more than I could bear.

Somehow I managed to make it back to her flat without puking though. I had been so tired in town that day but when she left me alone in her room to nap I could not sleep. I felt so bad about feeling ill the first day of the trip. All I could think was, "Well, Courtney, you already fucked it up. You've ruined the trip. This was a mistake. You're not meant to travel the world." All of these negative thoughts kept rolling around in my head. It was the worst. I truly thought that the rest of the trip was going to be a disaster and that I'd let my anxiety win.

I'm happy to report that that wasn't the case. In retrospect, I can't believe I was so hard on myself. First of all, I was super jet lagged. It should've been no surprise that I felt super ill after flying for 12 hours and getting hardly any sleep. Also, I was in a new country with a girl I had never met in person (and was worried wouldn't like me). Combine all of those things and anyone would feel barfy.

The next day and the days to follow were gold. Next stop was London but I'll save that tale for my next post. We were there for 2 days and one of those days was spent at the Harry Potter Studio Tour so I might break those into two posts as well.

Thanks for reading!

Love,
Courtney

Three More Moons

After today the Earth will only have to rotate 3 more times before I'm on an airplane. So far I'm feeling very positive about things. Normally, I'd be having vomitty butterflies in my tums and be having a panic attack but not this time. I just keep reminding myself just how much fun we're going to have and how many amazing things I'm going to get to see.

Here's a bit of good news too! I emailed our host in Copenhagen to get some directions to his apartment since Google Maps was not very help at all. Not only did he give AMAZING directions, he told us that he and his family will be in Portugal during our visit so we get the entire apartment to ourselves! I had only booked for the loft of his apartment which had 2 beds and an office (plenty of room for 2 people). We only paid $66 USD a night for the loft so I figured we could just eat out while we were there since we wouldn't have access to a kitchen but I'm very happy to see that now we will! We'll probably be eating our lunch out so we can people watch or sit in the park but I'd like to eat breakfast and dinner in the room. I'm just so impressed by how hospitable all of our hosts have been from Airbnb. I think I might use Airbnb for all of my foreign travels from now on :)

I did some more research on Copenhagen today and there's tons of free stuff to do and that makes me very happy. Just north of the city they have the world's oldest amusement park, Bakken. It's 431 years old and has 34 roller coasters, a ferris wheel and some free fall rides. Also, it's connected to a park that has free range DEER! And that's not even the best part, it's completely FREE! So we'll have to make a stop there and also to Tivoli, which is another amusement park that Copenhagen is famous for. After going to a bunch of art museums and whatnot it'll be nice to go to a theme park and just have FUN.

Tomorrow morning we're going to have our last Skype meeting to get us hyped up for the trip (well, more hyped). It's so weird to think that in 3 more days (well, 4 if you count the 7 hour difference between here and Europe) I'll be meeting face to face with my favorite human being. It's just kind of surreal. I had always hoped that we would meet someday and now it's actually happening! I cannot wait! We're going to have such a great time. I was telling Melissa in my last letter that if we find that we travel well together that this can be the first of many trips we can take together. It would be so awesome to get to see each other every few years and put another stamp in our passports. I'm thinking that my next BIG trip might be to Japan in 2016. I've wanted to go there my whole life. I think I can save up enough money in the next 2 years. I'm really good at saving my money ;)

Anywho, this will be my last post before I leave so I will write again when I return. Wish me luck and thanks for joining me in this adventure!

Love,
Courtney

Lil' Goth Baby

Two Weeks

As of today, we have hit our two week mark. In exactly  a fortnight (Glob, I love that word) I will be making my first journey across the Atlantic Ocean. It's so dreamy! I think that this trip is going to change my life forever. Not everyone gets to experience a trip like this in their lifetime (my parents have never been anywhere out of North America) and I feel very fortunate. Being from a culture that's only a few centuries old, I'm very excited to get to see places that are so rich with history. It's going to be amazing walking down streets that have been walked upon by people for hundreds of years. It's very romantic to think about.

However, while I'm very excited about all of the amazing things I'm going to get to see and experience I'm also trying very hard to keep my anxiety in check. Sometimes there's a fine line between anxiety and excitement and it can be hard to differentiate the two. But I must give myself props for handling all of this so well. The fact that I'm even going on a trip of this magnitude is HUGE progress for me. Ten years ago (even 5 years ago) I wouldn't have been able to go on this trip. My anxiety disorder kept me on a tight leash and I had so many limitations. In fact, ten years ago I was pretty much housebound, believe it or not. I had so many phobias that my life became pretty isolated and small. I couldn't work and I could barely handle going to school. But with the support and love of many people in my life I began to face all of the things I was afraid of. It's weird thinking about the person I was back then since the person I am today is so different. For many years I had an eating with people phobia and for 5 years I didn't eat out with anyone. I ate all my meals at home because my anxiety was so intense at the time that I was nauseous practically around the clock. Since I felt queasy so often I worried constantly that I was going to throw up (and Glob forbid, throw up in front of PEOPLE). And now I love eating out with friends. It's one of my favorite things to do. But back then I cared so much about what others thought about me that I let it consume me. I would avoid any situations that could result in potential embarrassment. Living this kind of life led to very low self esteem and as you can imagine, very few friends. My future seemed so bleak in those days and I had pretty much renounced any hope of getting over my anxiety. Pretty bummer times, yo.

But as you know, things did get better! During this past decade I learned a lot about Anxiety Disorder and educated myself on it thoroughly. One of the most valuable things I learned about this disorder was that MILLIONS OF PEOPLE have it. It wasn't just me. I wasn't just "crazy" like I believed I was for many years. I was just a negative thinker, a worrier, and very sensitive. Just knowing that I wasn't alone was super beneficial to me. However, once I learned that most of my problems came from how I speak to myself internally, I realized I had the power to heal myself. I heard a quote somewhere in my research, "I am the lock but I am also the key". It's taken years but I've realized how to spot negative thinking patterns and how to stop them and replace them with a positive thought. Through this whole process I've become a very positive person and it's funny how now everyone comes to me when they're feeling down and need cheering up. But the most important thing I learned about phobias is that you HAVE to face them. If you don't you give them power and that power can quickly take over your life (and peace of mind). It's very scary but you have to force yourself to do the things that frighten you. It's best to take things slowly and do baby steps but by doing the things that you're afraid of you'll realize that you're not going to die and it's not the end of the world. You have to give yourself praise for any steps in the right direction. We all need to learn how to be our own best friend and love ourselves unconditionally.

When I was about 25 years old I made a decision (one of the best decisions I've ever made) and it was to stop being who I thought other people wanted me to be and to just be myself; to 100% embrace who I am and love that person completely. I've always been different and kind of "weird" and for most of my life I suppressed those parts of myself and was very unhappy as a result. But once I started being myself and not caring if people liked me or not, something funny happened. People liked me! Everyone at university wanted to be my friend; I was my professor's favorite student. I finally set the real me free and I have no regrets.

I still have my bad days though, I'm only human. I've accomplished so much with my battle against anxiety disorder but I'll never be "cured" or anything. I just learned how to deal with anxious feeling when they arise. But I've never travelled for this long without my family or in another country so some amount of anxiety is bound to happen. I'm going to try not to think about that though. I'm trying reallllly hard just to focus on all of the fun we're going to have. I know this trip won't be perfect and there will be bumps on the road but we're going to leave with so many memories. I simply cannot wait!

Wish my luck! And thank you for reading this little blog and sharing these experiences with me.

Xoxo,
Courtney

Iggy Hearts You

Since my last post all of our lodgings have been booked for Europe! So we'll be staying at a youth hostel in London (it looks like Hogwarts inside!!) but in Amsterdam, Berlin, Copenhagen and Paris we'll be staying in apartments we found on Airbnb. Let me just say that Airbnb is FRIKKIN' AMAZING!!! We found the most gorgeous apartments that are also super affordable. It's going to be great to have our own place (and our own bathroom). All of the apartments look like Ikea showrooms too! Looking at them as made me grow to hate my own room now. It just looks horrible and disgusting compared to these beautiful European flats. I'm totally going to have to redecorate when I get back. Anyway, I think the apartment we're staying at in Paris was only $130 a night (split between 2 people) and it's 2 minutes away from the Eiffel Tower! On the night of my birthday we're going to get some chocolate croissants and champagne and walk over to the Eiffel Tower at midnight. It's just out of this world to think I'll be spending my 30th birthday in Paris! I truly feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Also since my last post I've arranged our Harry Potter London Tour at Warner Bros. Studios. I'm SO STOKED for that! It's going to be INSANE to have my picture taken in front of Number 4, Privet Drive. It'll be a dream come true.

me with Tinkerbell hair

Oh, more good news! Well, it's good news for me...but I've been the same weight since I was 14 years old. No matter how hard I tried I could not gain any weight and people would tease me a lot and say nasty things like, "Don't you ever eat?" and "You must weigh like 2 pounds." Over the years I've become a little self conscious of my petite frame and would get super jelly when I'd see other girls whose jeans actually fit them. Well, last year I suffered a knee injury that really forced me to change my lifestyle. I'm way too young to be blowing my knee out by just walking so I started an exercise program. It didn't take very long for me to start feeling the benefits of regular exercise so I stuck with it. Exercise is like MAGIC, man. Not only do you get a ton of self confidence by watching your body become stronger (and more bangin') but its done wonders for my mental health. I'm naturally prone to melancholy (depression runs on my mother's side of the family) and exercise has really elevated my mood and given me a more positive outlook on life (as well as increased my appetite).

So today I was trying on a dress I bought about 6 months ago when I noticed it was really tight around the bust (which never happens) so I thought I'd take a trip to the scale and I weighed 115 lbs!! That has been my goal weight for AGES and it seemed like it was never going to happen. The most I've ever weighed was 111 lbs but I normally fluctuate between 105-110 lbs, which is pretty underweight for my height. So this is very happy news! For the first time in my life I can look at my buns in the mirror be like, "Haaaayy, guuurrrrl!" AND my bras fit me too! It is possible that since I'm approaching thirty that my metabolism has slowed down but whatevz. I'm very happy with the way my body looks these days. Hooray for positive body images!

Have a Happy Valentines Day, my lovelies!


Mama Iggy

You've bewitched me body and soul

Ms. Starpup

So. Since my last post we've made more progress in preparing for our trip. Last weekend we booked all of our flights for flying from country to country in Europe and I am pleased to say, we scored some smokin' deals. For 6 flights it came out to $359 a piece. Crazy! It would cost that much for one flight in the US. Sheesh.

The only things left to do are figuring out/booking our lodgings, buying our Harry Potter London Tour tickets (can't risk us getting there and them being sold out), and making final outfit decisions. I had this goal to wear a cat themed outfit for every day of our trip but that hasn't worked out for me so far. I thought that finding a cat print dress, skirt, sweater and leggings (I wouldn't wear all at once, of course) would be easy peasey but in reality it's turning out to be quite difficult. Grrrr...I guess I'll just have to make due with what I already have. I already did a trial run to see how much clothes I could fit into my carry-on suitcase and everything fit even with some spontaneous outfit additions so that's a relief. I wanted to bring a mini backpack as my purse and ordered one off Jansport but it came in the mail today and was friggin' ENORMOUS so now I have to return it. Returning things is such a pain in the butt :(

Only 2 months to go. I can't get over how close it is!

Other than freaking out about my trip (in a good way) I've been super busy crafting. Here's some photos of my recent work:

Jiji (this one I made for me :3)

Lumpy Space Princess Hoop $34.00

Pink Squid Hoop (a gift for a friend)

Pusheen Hoop $33.00



Squirtle Hoop, $35.00

Bubbline Hoop Set $78.00



All of the hoops with prices attached can be found in my Etsy store www.iggystarpup.etsy.com

I'd like to have a giveaway sometime next month so I'll have to make a special hoop for that. You'll be able to enter from Tumblr, Instagram or Facebook. I'll post more about that when I actually have a hoop to give away, haha!

Another thing that's been going on lately is that I've fallen madly in love with "Pride and Prejudice". I finally got around to reading the novel 2 weeks ago and since then I've watched the Joe Wright film adaption about 4 times (once with the director's commentary--I love listening to commentaries), watched the mini series with Colin Firth (100% babe) twice and tonight I'm going to be watching the Sir Laurence Olivier version. I'm just soooo in love with Mr. Darcy. I can add him to the list of fictional characters I'm madly in love with. Doesn't look good for real men at this point. Not. Good. At. All.

It's Poetry in Motion

Le Me

 Thanks to modern technology something magical happened yesterday. Two friends who live an ocean away from each other got to have a face to face conversation via Skype. To be honest, I was pretty nervous worrying that she might hate my voice or think I was weird or something. I've met a few online friends in person and it's always exciting to hear their voice after only imagining what it sounds like. Usually, people tell me that my voice is a lot higher and girly than they imagined it would be (I'm not sure why people would assume that I have a scary deep voice).

It was so cool to get to see her wee face (I had only heard her voice once in a video she made me over a year ago) and hear her adorable accent again. I love loved seeing her laugh and just being super cute. It made me really happy too how well we got along. It think it'll be a  great time. We're both very enthusiastic and excitable girls so I think there will be a good energy on the trip.

My favorite thing she said was when I asked her what kind of stuff she wanted to do on the trip and she said, "Oh, I don't know, take pictures of you when you're sleeping." (SO GOOD)

The Lovely Melissa

We organized this meeting to discuss plans for our upcoming Europe trip since I'm going to be meeting Melissa in Glasgow. I had had some free time so I did some research on cheap and/or free things to do in each city we're visiting (free might be my favorite word in the English language). In case I haven't already mentioned it, here's an updated list of the cities we plan on visiting during our Euro Adventure:

*Glasgow
*London
*Amsterdam
*Copenhagen
*Berlin
*Paris
*Versailles

I was surprised by how many things we can do for free in Europe but I guess some of the best things in life are free, right? I'm just super stoked to simply wander around and explore these cities and soak up all of the history and culture. There are a few museums I'd like to visit but we found out that many of them don't charge any admission fee (party. bonus.) What's probably going to cost the most will be transportation and lodging but we're going to try to get transportation cards whenever we can and stay at youth hostels and maybe a few b&bs. I'd like to take a train at least once but for longer distances we'll probably be flying since flying is getting cheaper and will save us some time (maybe).

Oh, man! I am just so excited for this! It's going to be such an adventure and we're going to make so many memories. I CANNOT wait to take a billion selfies with Melissa. Can you even imagine it? A buddy pick of Melissa and I in front of Big Ben and the Eiffel Tower? It's MADNESS! Only 11 more weeks to go! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

National Lampoon's European Vacation

So I haven't written in a while (been working a lot and ya know, hanging out and stuff) but I have pretty big news so here I am.

Today I officially applied for my PASSPORT! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My squees today could probably be heard in OUTER SPACE.

Having never been out of the country this is extremely huge for me. Like, life-changing huge.

Luckily my skin was having a moment of clarity so I zipped up to Costco and got my picture taken. If you ever need a passport photo, I'd highly recommend going to Costco. They took a great picture and it only cost $4.99. Also, you can enjoy a nice slice of pizza for $1.99 while you wait ;)

So anyway, today I went to the Municipal Court to apply for my passport and was prepared to have to wait all morning but was in and out in about 5 minutes! It was awesome! Even got told I was "gorgeous" by the security guy, haha.

Next month I'm going to buy my plane ticket so that'll be HUGE. I'm kind of nervous about the flight but hopefully my excitement will overpower my nerves. I've never been in a plane longer than 6 hours and I think I'll be flying for like 13 hours that day (total travel time was estimated at 17 hours- yikes!)

I'm so ready to start getting stamps in my passport. I'll be getting 4 on this trip so that's a good start. Ideally, I'd like to start going on one big trip a year. I think that's a pretty reasonable goal. Here's a few destinations on my list:

*Hawaii
*New Zealand
*Bora Bora
*Canada
*Peru
*Japan
*Southern Europe (Italy, Greece, Spain)
*Thailand
*Iceland

Man, I can't believe I have only 3 1/2 months to go. It's so nutzo! I've been talking about finally visiting Europe for about 2 years and it's almost here. I think this is going to be a trip of a lifetime. 2014 is going to be one hell of a year. I think 30 is actually going to turn out to be a great time in my life. Maybe I'll finally find a boyfriend too (gotta stay positive!)

I'm ready!

I'll post images of my latest work (been super busy--drawing again too!) in my next post.

Good day, my lovelies!

Return of the Were-piress

Ack! I've been really really bad about updating this biz. My sincerest apologies (to the two people who read this blog).

Ms. Doom has been pretty busy during this time of absence and has lots of new things to talk about! Let's get started!

There have been many changes since my last post. Firstly, I got a new job! I am happy to say that my days of retail are far far behind me. It's amazing how it all happened too. I had had a crummy day at work and decided it was time that I start looking for a new job. That same night I went on Indeed.com and stumbled across a job that sounded right up my alley. It was a part-time receptionist position at a retirement community 10 minutes away from my house. So I sent in my resume and the next day got a call for an interview! Two days later I went into said interview and felt it was my best interview EVER! The young man who interviewed me said he'd have an answer for me by the end of the week (it actually turned out to be the middle of the following week but whatevz). As soon as I got the good news I put in my 2 weeks notice and I was out of there! Just like that! It was really something. And get this...I actually LIKE my new job! I don't think I've ever been able to say that. It's like it was all meant to be. My coworkers are all super cool and the residents have been very kind and welcoming to me. Best of all, I finally get to sit down AND I get to read during my downtime! Party. Bonus. I really lucked out finding this job. I only work 4 days a week now so that leaves me plenty of free time to work on my art!

In other news, I was recently blessed with another addition to my little family. On September 24th I became the proud owner of a LIMITED EDITION Wind Waker WiiU! Originally, I was going to wait to buy a  WiiU until Christmas but when I found out about this bad boy I HAD TO HAVE IT! And everyone knows that if you wait until Christmas to buy something they never have it in stock so Christmas came early this year! This has been a big year for me Nintendo-wise, very very big indeed. I've only gotten to play my new WiiU a little bit but so far I'm lovins it! The new Wind Waker HD is absolutely GOREGEOUS! I'm very impressed by the graphics. It's such a great game too and I'm excited to play it again because I think the last time I beat it was in 2004. Dang.

In other news (and this is the BEST news) I have decided to move my Europe trip to April of next year instead of October. At first I was apprehensive because I was worried that I wouldn't have enough money but now that I have this new job going in April shouldn't be a big deal. Also, my new job is waaaaaaaay more flexible about issuing time off and said that me taking 2 weeks off for my trip shouldn't be a problem at all. Just to be on the safe side I'm going to put in my vacation request soonish.

Having never been out of the continental USA I couldn't be MORE excited about this trip. I've been dreaming about visiting Europe my entire life so this is a dream come true. And since I'm going in April I'll be there to celebrate my 30th birthday. Yes, I'm going to be 30 next year. It's absolutely nutzo that I'm in the last leg of my twenties. But I've been very fortunate to have remained youthful despite my years. People are always flabbergasted when I tell them how old I am. They always guess 20, which I find hard to believe but it's this damn adorable baby face of mine.

Anyway...back to Europe! What I'm most excited about is that I'm finally going to meet my beloved pen pal, Melissa! We've been friends since 2007 so this is a very much anticipated meeting! It's amazing how someone I've never met in real life is one of my favorite human beings. My friendship with Melissa has truly enriched my life and she means the world to me. It's going to be so unreal to get to hang out and travel together. I know already that I'm going to be totally comfortable with her since we already know everything about each other. AHHHH! SO EXCITED! This is the tentative plan so far:

Day 1) -Fly from Atlanta to Glasgow. Meet Melissa and pass out on her floor and/or couch.
Day 2)- Cruise around Melissa's turf and talk some serious trash.
Day 3)- Fly (or train) to London. See the Eye and maybe some museums.
Day 4)- Go on the Harry Potter London Tour and then go on a bus tour.
Day 5) -Visit Baker St. and take picture in front off 221B (after that I don't care what else we do)
Day 6) -Fly to Amsterdam. Rent bicycles. Cruise around for babes.
Day 7)- Visit the Van gogh museum. Cry forever.
Day 8) -Train to Cologne. Meet my friend Nick.
Day 9) - Train to Berlin. Meet up with my friend Diane.
Day 10) - Do other stuff in Berlin and look for babes.
Day 11) - Fly to Paris. See Eiffel Tower. Sob uncontrollably. Eat everything.
Day 12) -Go to the Louvre and Notre Dame. If time permits, visit Montmarte.
Day 13) -Visit Versailles palace. Roll around and cry somemore.
Day 14) -Fly back to Phoenix. Be sad that I'm not still in Europe.

So, yeah. Pretty exciting stuff. And now I have something to look forward to instead of worrying about my impending birthday.